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By the Bay: A Pathetic Poem

I saw a lover alone near the water

The lonely woman inside my head

I kissed her blankly and she waited

for me to find myself instead

 

I went to see a new big city

I found myself a job up there

I walked around sad and lonely

and always hid the fact I cared

 

But now I find a time each day

To sit and think thoughts of you

Torturing myself with right and wrong

Thinking about what I should do

 

But there’s nothing left for me to save

No point in loving you any more

I wander round my lonely harbour

and cross the cold and violent shore

 

If only you could see me now

To see how much I’ve grown

I’m strong and tough and smart and sad

Maybe you’ve always known

 

One day I hope you’ll call me again

You’ll smile and make it all okay

It’s only a shallow dream, perhaps

But maybe we’ll be together one day.

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Ode To A Dumbass

Correlating in a cruel and clueless way

I wondered out aloud

Who is this person I’m with today

This brute, this dick, this clown?

You think you’re smart, you think you’re wise

I find you so obtuse

You’re beautiful but dumb as nuts

You have very little use

 

I wish that I hated you even more

To finally get away

You’ve darkened every step and door

And you continue to simply stay

I hear your yabbering all the time

It never really stops

Blah blah politics…Blah blah God

Your logic all in knots

 

When I get home you’ll still be there

Sitting on my couch

You’ll pour a drink and then just stare

For your routine, I can vouch

Your dumbass smile and sea flecked eyes

Looking mournfully at me how

Your hand is gripped and really tries

To hold me here and now

 

And there’s one thing I always forget

When I think upon this line

Through the pain and through regret

I think of you all the time

Because you see, I do love you

In each and every way

You friggin idiot, you stupid beast

You know I’m here to stay.

 

 

 

 

 

A Poem About a Man I have Forgotten

“Horrible Angel”

Horrible angel who waits between my sheets

Winged creature with dirty feet

Neither nervously pensive nor discreet

Every night he disturbs my sleep

 

Murderous saviour he poisons my cup

The sweetness revolts me, slow and abrupt

I hate him and love him, I want him to see

That happily trapped, I still wanna be free

 

Irresponsible father I trust his disdain

Comforting me brokenly out from the rain

Wetness and harshness and happy in pain

Circling straightly on love’s mixed terrain.

A Crappy Little Love Sick Poem

tim 143I tried to follow your advice And heed your clear direction

I tried to force your hand this time That’s only my perception

And if the world ended tomorrow I would have regret

I’d change the way I treated you The game, the match and set

It really didn’t all go well But some of it was nice

Some of it was wonderful Some parts fire, some of ice

My darling, where are you now? Where is that heart of mine?

Did I lose it? Did I leave it? Would it come back this time?

There’s nothing more I can do I cannot change the past

Please know that part of me has died That part will be the last

 

I Wish I Could: Control My Temper

I wish i could control my temper
In the Beginning I never yelled
I was so nice
But now
I am awful all the time

Now he is trying harder
And I feel guilty
Awful awful awful
I don’t know what to do
With this guilt

Some days
I want to be with him forever
But then I remind myself
About his temper
My temper

And how it won’t work
He’s older than me
He has grey hair
And whiskery sideburns
He drives me crazy

He’s so good looking
I am in love
With him
So I wish I could
Control my temper

Great Uncle Mick: is Skinny but Eats Like a Horse

Great Uncle Mick

Is very skinny but eats like a horse

He likes his food served very hot

And he hates sitting in a draft, in case it gets cold

 

He likes a schooner of Tooheys Old

before he eats

Swirling the last mouthful in the glass

Before drinking it down

 

He told me today

Tempus Fugit

As the Romans said

“Do you know what that means?”

 

“I used to,” I say

But I have forgotten now

“Time Flies,” he says simply

Time flies.

 

It’s got me thinking

About tomorrow

And it makes me sad

And scared for the future, my choices

 

I’ll see him at Christmas

And the one after that

And again the next year

I hope.

Photo by e y e s e e

They Moved all the Desks in the Office

They moved all the desks in the office

Now I sit opposite Andre

I try not to cough

Too loudly

Because I know I can be annoying.

I make lots of funny noises when I’m at work

I stretch and grumble and eat apples and drink coke

I wouldn’t want to sit next to me.

If you asked an expert

They’d say I work in a cube

That it’s beneath me

That I’m like a bee trapped in a hive

Making honey for the Queen

But I feel protected in my cube

I decorate it with lovely pictures of trees

And it makes me feel safe

Andre is going on holidays

Or maybe he has been fired

And he doesn’t want to tell me

No one knows anything

These days

You never know if you’ll be fired next

But I find

That I’m calm… most days

If they took my cube away

I’d just move to another one

I could

Do a different job

Or be Queen myself one day

But I don’t really care

I don’t feel like trying anymore

I tried once, and I already failed.

Photo by Victor 1558