pink hat

What it means to dream of being held hostage

To dream that you are a hostage indicates that you are feeling victimized or powerless. You feel limited in your choices or physically immobilized. Perhaps this dream is paralleling some situation/difficulties in your daily life or relationship. Alternatively, to dream that you are a hostage suggests that a part of yourself is not fully expressed. (source)

Last night I had the most awful dream. I was being held captive by a scary man and I was trying to escape. The whole night of my dream, I was trying to get away and I was very, very frightened.

The 3 ways I tried to get away

As far as I could see, I had three methods of escaping:

First: Break through the walls with my body

I was trying to break though things: I was trying to bust through walls or windows with my bare fists to get away and this wasn’t working. My body was not strong enough to break through the harder material surrounding me.

Second: I tried to run away

Every time I would run, my captor would follow me. It was terrifying. I would get a few paces away, and I would be caught again. I simply was not fast enough to get away. My weak body had failed me again.

Third: I tried to get other people to help me

In the dream I would call out to passers-by and neighbours. “Won’t someone help me?” People I ran into were not able to understand that I was in danger and before I could explain to them what was happening, my assailant would again find me and capture me. In my dream I was even trying to ring the police but I didn’t know where I was and they couldn’t help me.

I think this is a spiritual dream.

I think that this symbolises how I feel at the moment – that I am bound by things and I cannot escape. I guess I have been feeling really trapped as a human being lately – I feel spiritually trapped. I feel that I am stuck here and I don’t know where to go or what to do. I feel so frustrated with my human body, gravity on this ball of rock and the death sentence looming over my mortal shoulder. I get so frustrated and trapped. I feel like my flaws pursue me wherever I go.

So, what is wrong with me?

Change is so frustratingly slow. Some days I am not even sure what to do with myself. I have to breathe in and out so many times and conduct myself through all these banal activities. Wake up, work, eat, go to sleep, repeat. Searching for happiness is banal. Change seems impossible. Taking weeks off to meditate is unavailable to me at the moment.

So who or what is keeping me captive?

Well, it can only be me.

A friend just posted this picture on her facebook feed.

star

 

It affected me so much that I felt like I needed to cry. I was about to dash to the ladies bathroom (because we all know that  strong women don’t cry publicly) and I was trying to “hold it together”. I heard a voice behind me.

“Alyce, Alyce….wait!” I turn around to see a different friend.

“You forgot to wear pink today! Don’t you remember it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Day and you are supposed to wear pink?”

I mumbled that I had forgotten and that I was very tired and disorganized as I didn’t have a good night’s sleep.

“Well! You can wear this!” and she gives me a pink novelty policewoman’s hat. So now I am wearing a bright pink policewoman’s hat. This reminds me of my dream – I couldn’t find anyone to help me, not even the police. Now I seem to have been made an honorary policewoman in my waking life – a pink one no less.

The only thing I can do is to save myself. There is no one else who can do it for me. I am only a hostage to myself. 

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2 thoughts on “What it means to dream of being held hostage

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