Snooping on people: is it ever ok?

Snooping: Is it ever ok? Do I do it? Not now. Have I done it? Not lately. Someone just did it to me – how do I feel about this? Violated, amused and slightly perturbed. Should I be bothered? Is this activity harmless? Should I get angry, make a fuss or confront the snooper?

Times I have snooped

Yes, I have done it too, although not for a while. I had to learn the hard way after a relationship I was in where I knew that my partner was seeing someone else (in fact, multiple other women). At first, I would try to find out things about them, or look for clues but if I ever found anything I would get outrageously upset.

I was under no impression that I was his One and Only but it still hurt whenever I would find something in evidence that there was another lassie on the scene. On one occasion I had discovered that he had bought the two of us the exact same piece of jewellery. When I finally met her, she had the same diamond necklace as me!

My first love

The poor fellow. He was a nice enough guy and I have to admit to climbing up on a chair a year into our relationship and going through a shoebox of his old photos, unbeknownst to him. I remember looking at every one – there must have been nearly a decade of old shots there, and checking out his various girlfriends and the holidays they’d been on.

I felt dirty. Silly, really, as my snooping was fairly harmless. What if I had discovered something I really didn’t like? What could I have done? That’s the problem with snooping.

My ex

My rotten ex used to snoop on me on occasion and this caused us some trouble. I really didn’t blame him, I think it’s a fairly natural inclination. The things he discovered about me were pretty mild. There was the hilarious email I had sent to another ex lover who was now overseas giving a somewhat cheeky description of the ex who was snooping. I thought it was funny, really, but he did not see the light side of it!

Snooping on your kids – is it ever ok?

My parents made me feel grown up by never snooping, giving me a sense of my own place in the world. They probably did – but if they did, I wasn’t to know. I have enormous respect for my parents for allowing me my privacy and this is a value I have tried to keep throughout my adulthood. People are entitled to their privacy. It is empowering.

Privacy is a powerful thing

These days, privacy is on the wane. Where I work (which I absolutely love) one of the only failings is that there is no privacy. This is not unique to my employer, this is generally how modern offices are. I remember one of the radio stations I worked at. The studios and offices had recently been relocated to a snazzy new address. We all had desks in an open plan office and dotted around the place were five or so “meeting rooms”

No privacy in modern offices

These “meeting rooms” were a glass room, about the size of two phone boxes. In each room was a single chair, desk and phone, the idea being that you could use these “meeting rooms” to take private work calls. They were utterly useless. Not soundproof at all, they also put the person in them on full display – like you were an animal in a cage.

Why you should never snoop

You are too interesting to care about the information that is not readily revealed to you. Snooping is a way of saying, “I am worried that I am in the dark.”

Snoop Lion vs. Snoop doggy dog

Did you know that Snoop Dogg has changed his rap name to Snoop Lion? I am enormously impressed by this as it seems to be somewhat of a spiritual awakening and I am proud of him. It doesn’t matter what I think of his music, his religion (he is Rastafari) or the truth of his revelations. I am glad that he seems to have grown in some positive way.

Even snooping can evolve

“He said that in Jamaica,” (this is about Snoop Lion) where he stayed for 35 days, he grew closer to his wife, who saw his transition. He added that he’s excited to perform music that his family and children can listen to.” Way to go, Snoop. I guess all those years of making adult films have gotten boring.

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