Is This the Weirdest Weight Loss Method You’ve Ever Heard Of?

It’s called “Weight Loss Tongue Patch Surgery” and the idea is very gross. For just under $2000 US, a doctor sews and abrasive patch to your tongue, making it very difficult for you to eat. People who have had one attached have reported weight loss of up to 30 pounds a month.

Meet the California Doctor who can sew on your tongue patch

The main doctor being quoted in all the press is a guy called Dr. Nikolas Chugay. He has clinics in Beverly Hills and Long Beach and says on his website: “(the Doctor is) sought out for his artistry and keen sense of beauty by an international clientele of patients who are both from the business community as well as celebrity scene.”

this is a photo of a tongue patch

Better than a gastric band?

The doctor uses six small stiches to attach this little patch to your tongue. His website is very comprehensive, and includes a page of plastic surgery “innovations” for people to try – including procedures like ‘buttock liposculpture’ and ‘movie star smile’.

I guess, when you compare it to a gastric band or sleeve, it’s not as bad or as permanent. It’s a reversible procedure which takes less than an hour, but people who have had it sewn on have reported that they were unable to eat because the pain was simply so bad.

People in the 80s wired their jaws shut

This really reminds me of a trend in the 80s: wiring your jaw shut. Yes, people really did do this. How do I know? Well, I have been a fan of reading library-found literature on eating disorders and some stuff from the 80s is truly scary. Basically people have always been mystified with people who have eating disorders and some of the methods people employ to gain or lose weight are outstanding.

Jaw wiring is a method for controlling compulsive overeating and obesity. The device is composed of orthodontic brackets attached to the teeth, and pliable wire wrapped either around or through the brackets.

Sound creepy? It is!

Jaw wiring worked by limiting how much the patient could open his or her mouth, making it hard to get food into! According to the pathetic wiki page on this subject: ‘The wiring is configured to suspend the patient’s lower jaw in a semi-closed, partially movable resting position which permits a moderate amount of physiologic jaw movement and relatively clear speech, while inhibiting the ingestion of solid foods.’

What about self-control?

Yeah, we all know how difficult that is! Personally, I have always thought I had come up with the creepiest method of losing weight ever devised. Imagine simply agreeing to lose 3 months of your life in exchange for the perfect figure. Would you do it? The doctor could simply put an obese person in an induced coma for three months, intravenously feeding their body the correct nutrients to get down to the correct BMI. When they wake up, they have a thin body.

The only downside is losing three months of your precious life. It’s a small price to pay, isn’t it?

No way! People can be crazy! Especially me!

Photo by Brent Weichsel

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