5 Ways to Tell Your Fortune for Free Using Google
First, a disclaimer: should you be trying to divine your fortune at all? Can you truly flip a coin and get the best answer to a pressing question? I have no idea. As a Libran, I am constantly trying to weigh things up and make decisions. Small or large these choices tend to frustrate me and confuse me, so I often resort to flipping a coin to help me decide on what to do. I recently wrote a post on how I am trying to develop my intuition, because, honestly, the coin (in my opinion) could give me the wrong answer 50% of the time too.
Fortune tellers equally, have a bad reputation for being shonks, shysters and hacks. I personally don’t agree with the concept of asking for or paying for spiritual advice or help, but a donation to a foundation or giving a non-monetary item for someone’s time I think is acceptable (yes I will mop your hall or donate vegan cookies).
So what should you do if you have a pressing question to ask and need a little advice? You should meditate or pray, or speak to your angels, guides, goddesses or guardians. You should take time to get the answers you need and not expect them to fall into your lap without any work. You should look within, and act from your higher self and you should meditate and pray again for good measure. Got a big problem? I doubt it will be solved overnight – be patient.
But sometimes that is too hard. I am often spiritually lazy and I resort to other methods of getting the answers I crave. Deep within, I realise that this is probably just trickery on some level, but I get all warm and fuzzy when the answers are what I desire to happen. Here are a few methods of telling your fortune with your search engine, but please be aware that the answers you google may not be the answers you need.
5. The best horoscope: UK astrologer Jonathon Cainer
Often I ‘surf’ horoscopes – trying to find one that gives me the answer I want. This is particularly relevant to me around the Lunar New Year (Chinese New Year) when I get my ‘horse’ horoscope. These are often liberally splattered with grave warnings and shocking negative predications, in the traditional Chinese style (you might read something like, “Horses are advised to take particular care of their teeth when travelling due to troublesome night spirits that may cause them to fall out if not taking full precautions”). Sheesh! What do I do to prevent that?
By far and away my favourite astrologer is the worldwide renowned Jonathon Cainer. I have no hesitation in recommending him to anyone, as I can tell he puts a lot of thought, care and awareness into his forecasts. Often he will be so cryptic that you can’t work out what he means, but even if he only clicks with you one time out of three, I feel his advice is worth getting.
If I’m not surfing horoscopes I’m turning to methods like the magic 8 ball. I have lots of eights in my birthday, and I have always been attracted to the number. These novelty toys have been around since the 1950s, but were first spoken about in a Three Stooges movie in the 1940s. These balls are shaken and give the querrent (the person making the query – or the asker) an answer such as “it is certain” or “my sources say no”. According to the Wikipedia entry, there were originally ten positive answers, five negative and five non-committal. In today’s day and age, you can get a magic 8 ball answer online. Click on the link to give the magic 8 ball a try – but search on the web to find more.
Always a favourite of mine, tarot has been maligned by spiritual seekers. Even though it is very old, there are some people who suggest that it is not to be used unwisely, at all, or by the uninitiated. So please be aware of that when you give yourself a reading. Personally, I try not to overuse the tarot and I try to use my own feelings of the symbology of the card, as well as the pre-determined meanings offered by the traditional sources. For this reason, I am a fan of the traditional tarot deck; the Rider Waite is one of my faves.
A one card reading is a great way to get a simple answer. Here is my favourite site to get an online reading (free of course). I find the listed interpretations of the cards on this site to be well thought out, throughout and clear.
A funny site I located called Should I do it? You can type your answer into the box at the top and get a clear response. I gave it a go and got the answer I was wanting, so I am a fan of this site. However, if it hadn’t been so friendly, I’d be anxiously re-googling now. It’s a funny site and a bit of a laugh, but please don’t take the answers too seriously. Here is the link.
5. Alyce’s random text experiment
I invented this one myself – and this is by far the stupidest thing you can try to get an answer to a question on the internet. Think of your question, and summarise it to two or three key words into google, for example “love, 2013, Samantha”. Click on the very top (unsponsored link) and go to that page. Without reading the text, highlight two or three sentences randomly – and this is your answer. I just did this, and got the response:
“…wife, Mo, and their three kids, ages 9 to 16, came along to help serve fire-roasted pig to the masses. (At the other end of the Fire Pit, Jason Dady of San Antonio…”
Being a vegetarian – I shall not be serving up any fire roasted pig in the near future. Perhaps this is a cryptic message? Should I change my plans and go against my intuition because of my new fire-pig divination?
No, that would be very silly.
“Buyer beware”: It may not be a smart idea to try to tell your future with google. But it can be funny.